who who who?

Who gave it to you?
Who was that person to you?
Who is the person to you?

No matter how significant it was, it's already in the past.

We always find ourselves holding on to things. Sometimes, we hold on to these things for so long, we forget what we were holding on to. It's only when we let go of them, then can we see what we were holding on to.

-quoted potatomusmaximus.

now playing: 我爱的人

我爱的人 不是我的爱人
他心里每一寸 都属于另一个人
他真幸福 幸福得真残忍
让我又爱又恨 他的爱怎么那么深
我爱的人 他已有了爱人
从他们的眼神 说明了我不可能
每当听见 她或他说「我们」
就像听见爱情 永恒的嘲笑声

the full stop came.

all the ceremonies ended today.

the wake, the funeral, the cremation, the ash collecting.

there is really little i can do for my uncle, my cousins and the rest of the family other than helping out here and there and be there for them.

stayed overnight on the last night, to keep zhen zhao company throughout the night so that he wouldnt feel so lonely, and grandma and uncle can have catch some sleep. somehow i felt close to my uncle and cousin again. the talkings, the chats.

sometime ago i still see cousin quite often as uncle would send him to school before we go to camp. but the converstation (if hello can also be counted as conversation) is short as i think we arent "warmed up" yet. but i am really glad that i am here with them.

the night reminded me of the times where mum is helping to take care of zhen zhao and yan xiang when we were still living at the old home, and uncle and aunt would come over with treats like cookies and goodies while picking them home.

i know how zhen zhao is feeling. no, not totally, but i do. it hurts, when he was saying to me that he feels time pass super fast that partiular night. i know i shd say something to him but other than being there with him, i dunno what to say. i am one that is not good with words.

i thought i was holding myself quite well, not letting emotions taking over me thruout the 4 days. but at the last day, before the cortege leaves, the musicians are here and when they started playing the songs, i crumbled. i cant take it. the final moment. its coming to the end, that kind of songs they played..

i have never seen my mum cried so badly before.
i have never seen my grand parents like that before.
i have never seen my uncle like that before.
i have never seen everyone like that before..

i think aunt is happy.. so many of the relatives came to send her off.. and she is not no longer in pain. and i hope that uncle and cousin will live strongly from now on.

...

jiu mu passed away yesterday afternoon, while i am in camp and its a duty day so i cant book out only till today.

thou we're all prepared, the news still kind of shook me when it came, as we just went over to visit her on sunday..

angela's quotes #1

口味，因人而异，那么难迎合，却又总想去迎合。
到头来还不是一场空？

如果...?

像开始时那样
握着手就算天快亮?



(now playing 戴佩妮 - 怎样)

Of dust and heat.

yea.. back to camp for two days. think i have been to used to civilian life. missing my naps and late mornings man!

the uniform is making me feel so warm, the dust in guardroom makes me sneeze non stop, all the mundane stuff making me so sianz at all times..

35days of civilian life! i almost thought i ord-ed!

back to reality.

Rifle, buddy, me.

was talking to Alan and the conversation sort of ended with this line..

brought back lots of memories of b/m/t! he used to be one of the "lead singer" of the platoon and the timer as well.. and this is one of the favorite song we will always sing!

i'm glad that this few of us are still keeping contact.. even though its just through msn or facebook..

Events - outings.

quite eventful these few days! met up with Eugene on Thurs- he's on half day so i went over to raffles city to meet him for lunch and chill. I wanna say thanks bro for spending the whole afternoon with me and listen to my rants of my miserable life. it really helped alot. =D

coincidentally, agnes and gang was also at raffles city for lunch! haha. chatted with them for a while while waiting for eugene.. and so i arranged lunch with agnes the next day! haha.. certainly misses those working days with them.. unlike now where i feel so wasted and my brain cells all wasting away.

yesterday was at sofian's for hari raya! first time joining them as i didnt go for last year's. the food is great and so is the company! love the fried potatoes loads. hohoh. jielun finally turned up after so long. haha. headed to town for some walk walk afterwards with jielun and junwei.

L to R:Junwei, Leon, Han, Chin, Sofian, Jielun, JB, Me.

Saved.

i nearly thought i will die last night. thanks herry for talking to me on the phone, keeping me calm. that few moments really saved me, even though there were times the both of us only kept quiet..

Swatch.

I freaking like this watch!! tried it already.. nice.. but its too ex.. =(

FED UP.

I is freaking fed up! that brainless freak. you think you just want to go ahead and plan things your way? by all means please go ahead. its not me who is going to suffer. its your people! i have done my due part by informing you wayyy before time.